Monday, December 20, 2004
actually, the only thing on my wishlist now is that this is just a bad dream
guess what? ive done a very wonderous thing. so amazing it would send you flying through the roof.
i wrapped my retainers in tissue as usual, and
LEFT IT ON THE TRAY AND WENT HOME
okay, this is bad.
SO BAD, it cripples me
now i would have to slog my guts out just to get ANOTHER pair of retainers
AGAIN.
for those who know about it. i know, why am i so stupid u may ask?
earlier this year i threw away my retainers by accident coz i wrapped it in tissue and mistook it for thrash. and now, later on in the year, i repeat this damned habit.
i want to just forget it and wait till next time and get braces again. but jjaymie asked me to get retainers. but i dont want coz my teeth have shifted anyway, and retainers aint gonna move them back. they arent straight now, but they look like they are.
so should i or not?
-
back to reality,,,
no, NOOOOOO!!!
my xmas wish is to die dammit.
my parents spent 4k on my mouth. and i wont allow them to spend anymore.
-
i was on the train when i realized that i forgot my retainers. i felt sad. so i called jjaymie. and then i didnt feel sad no more. just like that. i dont feel anything, im just feeling okay. i wanted to cry but the tears wouldnt form.
i must have mastered the useless art of escaping-from-reality. and even now, i dont feel sad. i dont know, i just know its not normal but i dont want to think anymore, ive had enough, i just want to curl up in the infant position and sleep all day. i want someone to wake me up gently, telling me softly its just a bad dream, and then cuddle me
will you do it?
say you would,
please..
xoxo
joce-lyn
10:30 PM
